Tales of ‘Fast Neat Average’ Solicitation

 Lt. Col. (Ret.) Steven A. Simon ’77

 
The USAFA Form O-96 has a long and storied history at the United States Air Force Academy.

Officially known the Cadet Food Acceptability Report, it was instituted in 1956 to elicit feedback from cadets on Mitchell Hall food, service and cleanliness. The form’s six blanks (not counting “Remarks” and “Suggestions”) eventually elicited a standard response: “Fast Neat Average Friendly Good Good.”

That response, divided into three-word segments, became a code used to determine whether a person is an Air Force Academy grad. The first person uses the first half of the phrase as a prompt, saying, “Fast Neat Average.” If a grad, the second person responds, “Friendly Good Good.”

That call-and-response has led to some interesting stories. It allegedly saved a downed pilot in Vietnam. After 9/11, a grad got into trouble after sending a note to a non-grad airline pilot who didn’t understand and contacted the police. I have a couple tales of my own, one of which involves Michaelangelo’s David.

We invite graduates to submit personal stories about the use of “Fast Neat Average” to me at steve.simon@aogusafa.org. We will publish the best stories in the March 2020 issue of Checkpoints.